January 29, 2006
Kirk Cameron, from teen idol to borned-again gay basher
God, I hate Kirk Cameron. Sweet Jesus, I hate Kirk Cameron. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I hate Kirk Cameron. Jesus Christ on a crutch, I hate Kirk Cameron. (By the way, what up with the “Jesus Christ on a crutch” — why isn’t it Jesus Christ on the cross, on a crux, on Judas’ studpole? Hmm.) According to Mike Seaver, I am going to hell, not only for all of that blasphemous, taking the Lord’s name stuff I just wrote, but especially because I like the man-sex.
(By the way, is the commandment against taking the Lord’s name in vain the stupidest one? Or is it the one about envy? I can’t decide. Envy is an involuntary response to noticing you have less than someone else and then wanting more. The people who say they aren’t envious of another person are liars. And by saying “God,” how am I taking the Lord’s name in vain? God is not his name, you dipshits. It’s Yahweh, or something like that. Also, what does swearing have to do with being a good person? Nothing. But the Bible, a series of short stories and shaggy-dog jokes written by psychological suspect cultists several thousands of years ago, says, depending on the translation, that I’m going to Hell for saying, “Sweet Jesus!” Dude, I get the thou-shalt-not-kill shit, but swearing means nothing. Read Saussure.)
I found out that Kirk had gone the way of the brainwashed when I saw some E! where-are-they-now show a few years ago. Wait! you say. Who the Hell is Kirk Cameron? you ask. He was the Michael J. Fox wannabe on the “Family Ties” wannabe, “Growing Pains,” in the late 80s. He was super cute. Actually, he still is, in a Joe Pitt sorta way. Anyway, Kirk was borned again (as I like to say it) some time after his fame went all CoreyFeldmanCoreyHaimLeifGarrettRalpMacchio on him. Gee, down and depressed, looking for meaning? Try brainwashing! Suddenly failure is irrelevant! All you need to worry about is waiting for Judgment Day and ruining the lives of gay people!
Anyway. Anyway. Anyway. I thought he was keeping it to himself, or at least keeping it to acting is those bad movies based on the Left Behind books.
But nooooooo.
He and this little irritating Kiwi who looks like a cross between Davy Jones and Sonny Bono, Ray Comfort, have a borned again TV show (video series, website, cereal, chewing gum, toothpaste, etc.) called “The Way of the Master”. (The wiki-version is here.) The idea is that they go around and “talk to people about Christianity.” Actually, they go around and ask people whether or not they’ve taken the Lord’s name in vain, stolen anything, or done any ass-fucking. And they tell them they’re going to Hell. It’s fun for the whole family–except your gay uncle!
Last night, Rob and I were in bed–in our homosexual love den where we blurt out “Jesus Christ!” when the cats wake us up, where we envy people who don’t have to wake up and feed their cats at 5am every morning, and where we drink the blood of babies after we’ve sodomized them–flipping through the channels and we came across the episode of “The Way of the Master” where Kirk and Ray get all Biblical on the fags. Lucky us!
They spent a lot of time quoting the Bible, rolling passages up and down the screen, kind of like FBI warning on videos or the intros to the Star Wars videos. Now, I’m not “religious,” but even I knew that the passages they were quoting were rather specious translations. As in Hitler’s translations. The most glaring? The four or five passages that had the word “homosexuals” in them. Considering that neither the word nor the idea existed until the end of the 19th century, you gotta wonder what was really being referred to. But rocks-for-brains “Christians” like Kirk and Roy aren’t worried about translations and what the psychological suspect cultists who wrote the Bible really meant. They just want you to go to Hell. Hell! Hell! Hell!
At one point, Kirk and Ray are driving down the highway in a convertible–What would Jesus drive?–and they are discussing strategies for dealing with their “homosexual friends and family members,” as if they have any gay friends or any gay family members who would be willing talk to them. The strategies come right out of How to Win Friends and Influence People. “Don’t go up to them and tell them that God hates homosexuals and they’re going to Hell, because then they’ll just get defensive. Instead, say, ‘I’m really worried about your eternal soul because the Bible says that what you’re doing isn’t right.’ Let them know how worried you are and then they’ll think about what they’re doing.” Well, now that I know Kirk’s strategy, I’ll be prepared!
Then Roy takes to the streets and interviews some queers. One was a very smart, articulate gay Catholic. He was one of those I-practice-but-the-Catholic-Church-is-whacked folks who impress me. They stay even though they get beaten up every Sunday. Anyway, he smiled and answered Roy’s insipid, insulting questions, and said that he was a good person who would be judged for who he was not whether or not he followed the Bible word-for-word. Then Roy quizzed a 50something transsexual, who had taken the Lord’s name in vain and lied about his gender, and Roy told him he was going to Hell. That’s when I had to turn off the TV. It was worse than the gay-bashing on “American Idol.” Well, maybe not worse. About that same.
I was pissed as I was trying to get to sleep. Kirk. Kirk. Kirk. Why don’t you do something constructive? Like building houses for Katrina victims. Like helping Bono get cheap HIV drugs to developing nations. Like working towards peace, arms reduction, and fair economic policy. Oh, what’s that? Oh, right, I guess it is more important to ruin the lives of good people than the help the poor and sick live longer, better lives.
Kirk Cameron = EVIL.
32 Responses to 'Kirk Cameron, from teen idol to borned-again gay basher'
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That’s actually pretty brilliant.
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goddam Kirk! I always thought he had fish lips anyways.
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Not sure what you’ll make of this. However, I found it interesting. A friend who is studying to be a “higher up” in her church had this to say recently:
“My teacher said, ‘When you throw a stick for a dog to fetch and the dog doesn’t see where it lands, you point at where the stick landed. However, the dog keeps looking at your finger–not at the place where you’re pointing. Too many people are looking at the Bible like it’s the stick, when it’s really just the finger.’”
Hmm.
PJS
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herr cameron is also the star of the “left behind” movies.
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If cursing is a one way ticket to hell, there are a hell of a lot of Catholics on the way down. Kirk Carmeron can just go suck it. All the people that are THAT anti gay really want to anyway. Let’s talk more about his friend “Boner”, why don’t we? HA!
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I think the dog-stick story is a modern take on the “a finger pointing at the moon is not the moon” story. http://www.welikesheep.com/archives/2004/09/a_finger_pointi.html
American Fundamentalist Evangelical Protestants are really irritating. At least they don’t kill people like many Fundamentalist Muslims like to. Not yet, at least.
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Eric…they’ll kill you if you’re an abortion doctor…
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Ray Comfort is from New Zealand, not the UK.
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Noted. Fixed.
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You’re brilliant and funny and oh-so correct. Thank you for this. I wish you and your boyfriend the very best of luck. I’ll see you in hell…let’s do lunch!
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Setting: Sometime in the not-so-distant future.
Characters: Kirk, God
Kirk: Why didn’t you allow me to enter Heaven? Am I not righteous and holy and engaging in coitus through proper openings?
God: Dude, lighten up! Even I’m not that obsessed about butt-sex and swearing. [Hands Kirk a phatty splif.]
God: Here. Smoke that! And stop bothering me. I have a dinner with Oscar Wilde and Leonard Bernstein.[Promptly sends Kirk to Hell aka Any Leo DiCaprio Movie on an infinite loop.]
God: Next!
Mel Gibson: What did I do wrong?
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Hi, no joke I typed in kirk cameron hate site in search blank and this is the first thing I went to: your aricle. I’m so glad I did that. You made me laugh and share the joy of your article wth a friend. Thank you for your infinite wisdom.
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Yeah. i pretty much can’t stand mike deceiver and his boy ray discomfort, or is it the other way around? they use the apologetic argument. they never ask the opposite of those questions, which would show that most people could answer they are truthful, honest, decent people. one-sided brainwashing is what they are putting out. and besides, the real ten commandments say nothing about lying. just about bearing false witness against others. which those witless witness’s are doin with their false logic. and checking out someone is ok too. 10c’s just says coveting married people is off the menu. unless they are swingers, of course
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Rock on. i totally really hate kirk cameron too. just saw his pro jesus ad on E! and it made me have a suddent rush of hate for that cross chasing f*ck.
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Hey. Kirk Cameron is such a great inspiration. Can’t you see how much more happy a Godly life is? Look at him for example, out of all the celebraties in the world he is the only one still married to the same wife and loves her dearly. They have the Lord guiding them. He’s such a great man. He stands up for what he believes in even though he knows that everyone around him might hate him for doing it, he does it because he doesn’t want anyone to go to hell, and he cares for you. Even though you don’t want to here it.. It’s very unatural to be gay. God created man and woman, and there’s a reason for that. It’s unhealthy too!
Hi, Ashey. (Or is it Ashley, and you can’t spell your own name, along with numerous other words?) Thanks for coming by to tell me that my innate existence is unnatural. That’s so Christian of you! Nothing says “Love thy neighbor!” than telling strangers that they’re going to Hell for the way that God, genetics, and their mothers’ hormones made them. If that’s how you lead your life, it’s no wonder than a bigot like Cameron would inspire you. Cameron does not love me; he loves that he can demonize and oppress me. Evangelical Christianity isn’t anything without a minority to scapegoat. Though I doubt anyone who would write “It’s unhealthy too!” in relation to homosexuality understands such things as history, which involves reading, research, and complex thought. –Ed.
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No my name is Ashey. Sorry I mispelled [sic] things. I understand what you’re coming from, I had an athiest [sic] friend once. It’s a sad thing to not know [sic] the Lord. But you know, only God can change a heart and I’m sorry if I made you upset.
I find it very hard to believe that you have any idea where I’m coming from, particularly if you think atheism and a distaste for anti-gay bigotry have anything in common. If you think Jesus would encourage his followers to accost people on the street and tell them they are going to hell for loving someone — as Cameron and Comfort did in the TV show I referenced — I don’t think you know the Lord nearly all that well. But thanks for coming by! –Ed.
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Dear Ed.
My name is Ted. “Ed.” is short for Editor.
Being a Christian means making sacrifices, even when they are hard, and difficult to understand.
Oh, gee. You think I should sacrifice my homosexuality? I should deny my innate self, my love for humanity, my love for my husband, and my sense of justice and ethics because of randomly chosen lines from Leviticus and some really vague, historically situated meanderings in Paul and Timothy? That’s absurd.
God has blessed you with so many things, and has also taken things away from you and made it hard for all of us so that we could be tested.
God didn’t make me gay so that I could force myself to be straight, to live a life of sorrow and celibacy. A God who would do that to 5% of the human population is not worth loving, let alone worshiping.
Or we could have a reason for praising Him. If everything always went well, you might not remember to pray and talk to God (Through Jesus Christ).
Saying bad things happen so that we remember to pray is the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard. It denies any responsibility or agency for either good or bad things in the world.
Do you believe there is a God?
I am agnostic. I think absolute belief in either the existence or non-existence of God is the utmost in arrogance.
Aren’t you afraid what will happen when your life ends?
Not remotely. Focusing one’s life on what happens when it is over is a waste of energy. I focus on making the world a better place for people now, because it is the right thing to do, not because I hope for a reward at the end. Being a good person should not be about a quid pro quo with God.
Please, I don’t want to in any way make you think I am just saying all this to be mean.
I don’t believe you’re mean. I believe you’ve been seriously deluded by your church. I would feel sorry for you if you simply suffered silently in your ignorance. But instead you feel the need to wander about the Internet repeating lies, and I fear that if you’re willing to do that, you’re probably willing to vote against my rights and my people’s rights. So, instead, my pity turns to scorn.
I really do care. I care for all nonbelievers.
Just because I don’t believe what you believe does not make me a non-believer.
I may not know what you’re going through, but I do know what it’s like to not be saved.
I am not “going through” anything. And I don’t need or want your pity. I want you and your people to leave me and my people alone. –Ed.
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You know, every time I see someone attempting to present an opposing point of view I *welcome* it. I just went over to “The Way of the Master” [bator] to watch the “Evolution” bit.
What a mess. First of all the theory of evolution makes no attempts to explain abiogenesis, much less the big bang. And then they go off doing “person on the street” interviews. Anecdotal evidence as proof?
God [of Biscuits], these people are pathetic.
Ashey, try some moisturizer.
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Okay, no more. My conscience wouldn’t allow me to read what you wrote and not express my concerns, that’s all. Only God changes hearts and I was just pointing the way. I don’t want you to feel that Christians are devoted to striking everything you say because that would be a bad testimony. I just wanted to say that I am praying for you (whether you like it or not) and that I would like us to not have any harsh feelings towards one another. I thank you for your time in writing back, and also answering all of my questions. Oh, and sorry I called you Ed, Lol. I’m not the smartest cookie in the jar sometimes. =)
Please don’t waste your prayers. If you want to do some good, spend that time reading What the Bible Really Says About Homosexuality or Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality. Maybe you’ll learn something. –Ed.
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Good for you, Ted! I have this feeling that Ashey saying “My conscience wouldn’t allow me to read what you wrote and not express my concerns…” MAY be a cop-out for not wanting to admit she can’t really answer you.
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Your just angry that he’s strait and not only that, he’s a christian so you have no chance at all. Go bang off in the dark closet you gay faggot. Your flat out stupid and sound like an idiot. I personally am not a christian but I know for a fact that what you said is wrong.
Nothing makes me happier than when semi-literate bigots accuse me of being an idiot. –Ed.
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No problem faggot
Oh, my. You actually came back. Most semi-literate bigots can’t maneuver through the Internet well enough to find their way to the page on which they left their drivel. But for those that do, I wonder why they return. Do they want to see if their slurs caused any harm? Do they actually think they can win the argument? And if they think they can win the argument, I wonder why. I mean, really. I guess when you’re only capable of slurs and nonsense, you probably aren’t aware that you’re only capable of slurs and nonsense. –Ed.
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“Focusing one’s life on what happens when it is over is a waste of energy. I focus on making the world a better place for people now, because it is the right thing to do, not because I hope for a reward at the end. Being a good person should not be about a quid pro quo with God.”
Ted,
This is perhaps one of the best summaries of the Gospel message that I have ever heard. Thanks! You may find yourself quoted in a sermon someday…
Paz,
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I heard Kirk got mad at Bush because he thought the program was called “No Child’s Behind Left”
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I just heard about Kirk’s ridiculous website and his “banana proving intelligent design” theory. Listening to his bigotted nonsense and his blatant disregard for fossil evidence (I’d quite like to go to one of his presentations and just throw actual dinosaur bones at him repeatedly until he shows me the place in the bible where it says “on the 6th day God created dinosaurs”) enraged me so much that I typed “I hate Kirk Cameron” into a search bar; this is where I ended up.
The guy is a douche and so is Slapping41faces.
Ted has said everything I want to say and in a much more articulate manner. I just wanted to say that, although this is a very old thread – big up what Ted has to say for himself and well done for defending yourself using intelligent arguements instead of resorting to pathetic namecalling.
It’s sad coz I think I actually believe even less in god’s existense because of the unforgiving nature that some Christians display. Look at those God Hates America guys who drag their kids out onto the street to protest outside soldiers funerals.
I don’t know where I am going after this life but if heaven does exist and is filled with these idiots, I’ll be glad I lived in enough sin to go to hell[Reply]
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I love Kirk and have met him once. He shook hands with my boyfriends.
Eyrev
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Would you consider running a camp for terminally ill people something worthwhile? And doesn’t that help people live longer better lives?
Yep. That’s worthwhile. But I’m guessing that he doesn’t invite children with gay parents. Just a hunch. And considering that one of the camp’s missions is to evangelize to the families when the families are at their most vulnerable, I have little respect for it.
Also, just because someone believes you’re going to hell, as long as they don’t hate you (scream at you and cuss at you and try to harm you…), can you really hate them back? All muslims believe I’m going to hell. Doesn’t mean I have to hate muslims.
Not all Muslims believe that. Just as not all Christians believe Jews, Muslims, or gay people are going to Hell. That said, those that do believe in such absolutes are free to do that, and I don’t really care about them — as long as they do not attack me, either through laws, propaganda, or physical violence. Kirk goes on TV and lies about me.
Some people share their faith because they care about other people.
That is a gross generalization. Some people do this. Many, many people share their faith in order to make themselves feel saved and make other people fear they are not.
Put yourself in their shoes. If there’s someone you care about, and you really really believe they’re going to hell, wouldn’t you try to tell them about it? I mean if you really believed they were going to hell.
As I wrote in the comments above, “Focusing one’s life on what happens when it is over is a waste of energy. I focus on making the world a better place for people now, because it is the right thing to do, not because I hope for a reward at the end. Being a good person should not be about a quid pro quo with God.” If someone I cared about was doing harm to themselves or others, I would say something. Being gay and loving another man is not causing anyone any harm. The harm we experience for being gay is cause by homophobia, which is propped up and spread by the anti-gay lies told by people like Kirk Cameron.
It’s interesting that you say that sharing your faith with someone “ruins” gay people’s lives. A single conversation, ruining their lives? You make it sound like homosexuals are running around in guilt and trembling, and that a single word disagreeing with their lifestyle will kill them. A guilty fear like that would indicate that they do indeed know deep down inside that what they’re doing is wrong. (I dunno, the gay dude I live with isn’t afraid of hearing other viewpoints. )
Well, that’s one way of completely misreading my post. I never said a single conversation was causing anyone ruin. I thought it was pretty clear that I think the Kirk’s anti-gay evangelism is spreading lies and homophobia, which is helping ruin people’s lives, either by giving people reason to vote against our rights or beat us in the streets. I feel sorry for your roommate. Telling gay people that they’re going to Hell simply for being who they are is not an “other viewpoint” — it is religiously based bigotry.
I’m just saying, Kirk Cameron at least says that the people he disagrees with are human beings worth loving, and doesn’t seem afraid to talk and disagree.
Oh, please. Kirk’s answer to everyone who doesn’t agree with his warped interpretation of the Bible is “You’re going to Hell.” That is hateful.
You make it sound like everyone has to agree with you.
Hardly. Folks can have their bigoted opinions about gay people. They can be Republicans. They can like twinkies and Adam Sandler movies. Be free. However, when you force those opinions, especially ones based in obvious bigotry, on me and my people, I will fight you. Forever. I do not wander around Salt Lake City trying to convince Mormons to become agnostics. I do not try to pass laws preventing Baptists from adopting. I do not have a TV show where I mistranslated the Bible in order to make entire populations sound evil and immoral. Kirk does.
(At least he never says he hates anyone–you make it clear you do hate, freely.)
So? At least I admit my feelings. I’d much rather have someone admit that he hates me than claim he loves me while telling me that I’m going Hell for how God made me.
Hate speech is SO lame.
I agree. But saying I hate anti-gay bigots is not hate speech. Spreading lies about gay people and their worth as human beings on TV, however, is hate speech. –Ed.
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full of bullshit
I enjoy approving comments like this. It’s easier than writing an entire essay about the lack of civility and intelligence in political discourse. All you need to do is see things like this. –Ed.
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Thank you so much for this article I think Kirk is a Douche. Whoever wrote this you are awesome.
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You make me want to vomit. And so does everyone who supports what you posted up top. Hell is real. Heaven is real. Homosexuality is a sin and so are lots of other things, but the ONLY thing that will keep you out of Heaven is not having Jesus in your heart when you die or when He returns (which ever happens first) I pray for your soul. I pray you won’t look up from the pits of hell someday and beg Kirk Cameron to drop some water on your tongue.
If sin is a real thing — an actual cosmic category with actual cosmic consequences, which no one has been remotely convincing in proving — I’m sure this comment is pretty sinful, too. Let’s see… we’ve got pride, anger, and a creepy desire for me and people like me to be in pain for eternity. Now that’s some Christian love! What would Jesus say about this comment? Would he praise you for spreading his word about the evils of homosexuality? Probably not, since he didn’t say diddly-squat about homosexuality and rejected Leviticus. But believe he would be appalled by the twisted corruption of his words. Fundamentalists (like you seem to be) are so annoying because you so rarely understand what Christianity is, what faith is, what love is, what cruelty is. Also, there seems to be a strange misuse of the word “real.” You cannot know whether Heaven, Hell, or God are real. You cannot know whether Biblical sins have cosmic consequences. You have faith that these things exist, these cosmic consequences will come; you believe these things to be out there. But are they? There’s no way to know. And you’re doing a worse job than Kirk Cameron has in persuading me. Why would I want to believe in a religion that produces people like you? –Ed.
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OK – I’m really gonna throw a spanner in the works here. I am a gay Christian. I totally love Jesus, because He totally deserves it. He loves us straight, or gay. Evangelical Christians are deceived but God loves them. Gay people are loved by God, but not when they take His name in vain and mock and belittle others – including straight people.
I invest a lot of time trying to build bridges between the gay community and christian churches. This website is showcasing the worst of both worlds – gays antagonising Christians and showing them unforgiveness, and Christians forgetting the essence of the gospel and attacking those they are called to love.
Let’s take a deep breath, and start some constructive dialogue. Yes we’ve all read and heard things that have caused us hurt, but the cool thing is that we can turn the other cheek.
Peace and love in Him!
Amos
This comment is frustrating. Amos, this website is not a bunch of “gays antagonising [sic] Christians and showing them unforgiveness.” If you read through the entire post and the comments and my responses to your comments as well as some of my many posts of the last 10 years (like this one,), it should be quite clear that I am not attacking all Christians, just the ones, like Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort, who devote their lives to spreading lies about and hate for gay people. And I think I did a pretty good job with the irony and the satire. (In fact, the minister who married me and my husband wrote in a comment above that some of my words here may end up in a sermon — and not as a bad example.) I have no interest whatsoever in dialogue with people like Cameron and Comfort, because I know that they have no interest in anything but the destruction of my life and family. I have had, and will continue to have, many conversations with religious people, religious leaders, and theologians about these issues. But folks like Cameron and Comfort are evil. I may “forgive” them, in the sense that I would never personally send them to Hell, but I don’t want to talk to them. And I don’t think they or their actions are defensible in any way. –Ed.
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ted
29 Jan 06 at 7:02 pm